Time Fly's When You're Bored to Death
by Charlotte Clark
Summary: A One-Shot for the weekly challenge. Pam POV...a little tale as she waits, rather impatiently, for her flight back home.


_**A/N- This is a One-Shot for the weekly challenge. I thought it was time that we gave Pam a little excitement. Hope you all enjoy. After 2 long weeks of being on call I just kind of threw this together. I'm a little sleep deprived and ready to crash… I apologize if there are a ton of error's! Happy Glamouring!**_

"_Miami does not have a visitor-friendly airport. At Miami International, a cramped and dingy labyrinth, the message is: Just Try to Find Our Baggage Claim Area!"_

"_Oh, how I despise humans" I sat quietly, watching the people walk by. Could there be anything more irritating than humans?_

_I sat in Miami International Airport waiting for my Anubis flight back to Shreveport. The airline was uncharacteristically delayed. My straw colored hair was pulled into a perfect chignon. My face was disguised in a very large, very expensive pair of Chanel sunglasses. The tortoise shell color matched my hair and admittedly looked stunning._

_It was well after sunset but the air was hot and humid. My linen skirt and lavender, silk camisole was perfect for this weather. While I was away I got a heavenly manicure and pedicure, I was truly relaxed. _

_I was on the last leg of my very well deserved vacation. I had told Eric that if he did not give me some time off he was going to find himself suddenly without my many, __talents_. I had put up with a lot this past year or so.

Seriously, between him pouting and brooding over his bonded, to the whole takeover thing, it was…exhausting. So, here I sit. My patience is wearing very, very thin. If one more human boy looks at me with twinkly eyes, I just may have to show a little fang.

Most of them had the sense to realize that I was slightly different, and they would keep walking. I'll give them credit, a small fraction had a brain in their useless heads. How I would love to take a sip out of some of these passer by's. I find people watching fascinating. I was making a mental checklist of which one's I'd like to fuck and which one's I'd like to…well, feed.

I had spent the last three days in Key Largo. I loved the atmosphere there. It was so bright, so energetic. Everything that I wanted, but couldn't have. There are very few things that I miss from my human life. The lifestyle on Kay Largo gave me something that made me feel…alive.

There was a very small vampire population on Key Largo. They were mostly vampires that had fled the overly flamboyant lifestyle of Miami. Miami was becoming another New Orleans. It was becoming a Mecca for tourists trying to get their hands on a vampire.

I often curse Anne Rice for creating such a hunting ground for my kind. But, then again, if not for her…I might not be doing so well in my current career. Fangtasia was extremely lucrative. Never underestimate the power of a tourist. Between novelty underwear and gag gifts, those blood sacks were keeping Eric and I wealthy, very wealthy.

Pay $24.00 for an entire bottle of liquor, turn around and sell it for almost $8.00 a drink, measured out of course. You do the math. Humans are so, what's the word…gullible.

On Key Largo I stayed in a nest that included three other women. They were all younger than me, and were constantly berating with me questions about Eric. Christ, even when I was on vacation I was still involved in his shit.

They wanted to know if the stories about him taking a human bonded were true, if she was pretty much just a whore, if he was happy just to remain Sheriff of our Area. Believe it or not, I think I may have enjoyed bringing those ladies up to speed on Eric and Sookie's love life. It felt like I was living it through them. It had been too long since I had felt that way about someone.

I would go out at night, visit the local bar's and get idea's to bring back home. I went to the beaches and sat in the moonlight, listening to the waves meet the sand. It was exactly what I needed, serenity. On my first night there, the other ladies and I decided to celebrate a little. We got our hands on some Fairy blood and had ourselves a grand old time. I knew there was a reason I felt the need to bring my riding crop.

Cassandra, one of the vampire's in the nest had been smart enough to Glamour us some…_entertainment_. She knew that after we had indulged in the Fairy blood we would need to, _work off _our high.

My date for that night turned out to be a Cuban attorney that specialized in immigration law. Her name was Gabriella and she smelled of coconut and citrus, and believe it or not she tasted even sweeter.

I was almost sorry that I was meeting her under these circumstances. Her black hair and dark skin was the exact opposite of mine. She was stunning. If I had my pick of every girl on the island I would have chosen her. She was very willing to comply to my every wish, at times I wondered if she would have done it even without being Glamoured.

We spent a very exhilarating evening together. I was not in the sharing mood, so Gabriella and I spent most of the evening behind closed doors. The fairy blood intoxicated me and I was making sure I stored every bit of this woman in my vault. If and when I get back to Key Largo I am definitely going to be looking her up.

I felt my cold blood start to get slightly warm as I thought about the night that I shared with this woman. If vampires could blush I'm certain that I would be that shade of my favorite Bobbi Brown lip gloss, Tangerine. The perfect hue of peachy-pink.

I shook my head and brought my self back to the present. Still sitting in this godforsaken airport. It smells of human filth and it is dirty and dingy. The hallways and corridors are a never ending labyrinth of lost, helpless people. I will be writing a strongly worded letter to Anubis to let them know how little I appreciate this delay. I hate waiting, almost as much as I hate these humans that are invading my space.

Some elderly woman that smells of medicine cream and onions has taken a chair two seats away from me. I pray that she does not try and make conversation with me. The elderly make me realize how lucky I am to have been turned while I was in my prime. I will never know the suffering of aging. I will never know the horror at finding my first gray hair, or my first wrinkle.

I glance at the woman and realize that she is wearing something that I hear her refer to as a housecoat? It has an awful pattern of tropical flowers. It is teal blue and purple, and truly ridiculous. Her son comes over to her and gives her a hard time about her knee high stockings rolling down around her calves. It is rather humorous to see the stockings falling down around her wrinkled and veined legs.

The man looks to be in his late forty's. He is not that impressive looking, but I do not care for the way he is speaking to this woman, his mother. The look on her face shows me that she is used to this type of treatment.

"Jesus Ma, every time we go somewhere you got to wear that ugly dress. Can't you for once put yourself together. The minute we get to Jessie's I'm burning that piece of shit. You hear me?" He scowled at the elderly woman.

"Jackson, your father gave me this housecoat for my birthday right before he passed." Her voice was weak and broken.

"I don't give a shit Ma. It's ugly and I'm sick of looking at it. I don't want to hear nothing about it. It makes you look like a cow. Just sit here and be quiet while I get everything ready." I had heard all that I could take from this human's mouth. I felt a sudden kindred with this woman, obviously brought up in a time when women were not allowed to speak their mind.

I noticed that her son had spotted me and liked what he had seen. This was going to be fun. The old woman was hard of hearing, so I'm pretty sure I could pull this whole thing off without causing a raucous.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you alright? Now I'm certain there is no man in his right mind that would leave such a magnificent woman as yourself alone in this place?" Did he not have any common sense? Could he not see that I was not of his kind?

"Forgive me sir, but I believe that you should continue on your way." It took all I had not to drain him right there.

"Wow, ain't you a spirited little filly. It would do you right to be tamed some." He spoke in an accent that was beyond southern drawl. If I had to guess I would put money on him being from Georgia. I glared at him, letting him get a good look before I decided to scare the piss right out of him. How dare he presume that I needed to be tamed?

"As I said before," I hissed and let my fangs extend. "It would be in your best interest if you kept on your way. Spirited is the least of your worries. The sight of you makes me want to plunge a wooden stake directly into my own chest." I could smell his fear as he was realizing that he picked the wrong filly to hit on. His eyes focused on mine and it was time to set him right about women in general.

"Now, I want you to remember something. Women do not appreciate being called horses, nor do we like being called anything that involves livestock. When you get to your final destination you will apologize to every female that you have ever offended by referring to them as animals…including bitches. You will respect women and appreciate them with a nauseating kindness. You will respect your mother and her wishes. You will never again insult her. She brought you into this world and you owe her your life. You never saw me, nor did we have this conversation. You will walk away and not remember anything about me, or anything about this place. Do we understand?" My voice softened as I made sure he took in every word. I watched as the piss began to leak through his khaki shorts.

This was way too much fun. I decided that I was not quite done with this ass. "Oh, another thing…Jackson, I do believe that you will now enjoy the company of men. Yes, you will respect and appreciate women completely, but you will not desire them in the way that you have in the past. Now, carry on your way. Your mother is waiting to get going." I winked at him and watched as he shook his head out of my hypnosis.

He walked away from me and went directly towards his mother, almost stumbling. He looked around the airport as though he had never been there before. He looked at his mother and smiled at her.

"Mom, you look great. I know how much that dress means to you, especially since it was the last thing dad gave you before the Lord took him home." He went to pat his mother's old, paper thin hand.

"Jackson, what are you talking about? What the hell is wrong with you?" She was concerned about her son's change in personality.

"What do you mean? There is nothing wrong with me. Where are we anyway? Wait, we're at the airport, we're on our way to Jessie's. Think we can make this a quick visit? I'm really looking forward to getting home and calling Jimmy. It's been like a week since we last saw each other at the bar. Wonder what he's doing tomorrow night?" Jackson stared off into the night, finding himself daydreaming about his best friend.

"Jackson, Jackson! Get yourself together, I want to get going. For Pete's sake, Just Try to Find Our Baggage Claim Area!"

With that I got up out of my seat and walk towards the Anubis gate. My flight had taxied in and I knew that I would be back in Shreveport in less than two hours. At least I had a little fun at the end of my vacation.


End file.
